stuck in reverse

a quick fire shooting of my disgruntles. (not that you would like to it. but honestly, right now, right here. I've got the liberty of the pen)

It's 2 past midnight. The bed is empty. Cold sheets, a hollow on the other side.

I look to my port for companionship.
It's deep red jeweled tones enticing me into deep slumber.

Work seems to be a consistent battle against my own expectations. My many wishes piling up versus the oddities of my performance. I wish I were faster, I wish I were more organised. I wish I could bring something to the table that no one else at the work place could offer. Yet once and again, I'm beaten down to the ground but my failures to establish my significance. My doings slipping into a mundane drawl of activities.
Upon returning back to an empty house. tiredness lingers in my bones. Yet, I can't sleep. Stuck in reverse.
I confess to my strange habits that reflect a bit of self loathing. Feeding my engines with alcohol, bringing tears to my eyes with the likes of emo films. The notebook, titanic... I suppose it's the hormones kicking in but i'm never too sure.
Whatever it is... I'm back. I wish I had a collection of photos to share. But none.
Don't get me wrong, I've never been happier with the state I'm at, the portion of life that I finally enjoy the most. I just need an avenue for some ranting. Be kind. Look away.