leavin' on a jet plane... (again!)

So much beauty in life
Empty on the inside
Shining on the outside

I get lost sometimes
Blinded by the flashing lights
Distractions always in my eyes
So i'm following the sound, the sound of my heart

You can take it all away
I don't need it Beating
Underneath, i'll still be the same
You can take it all away
You can take it all, take it all away
I don't need it, it's not me I'll still be the same

Time can turn it around
Don't you want to love yourself?
Are you hiding still?
Don't you know that someone will?
That's the only way to find it out
Leave it all that's dribbled down
Are you following the sound, the sound of your heart?

Coming in with nothing, leaving with the same

You can take it all away
I don't need it Beating
Underneath, i'll still be the same
You can take it all away
You can take it all, take it all away
I don't need it, it's not me I'll still be the same

Coming in with nothing, the only thing that saves

It's all inside
Is here inside

Ryan Cabrera - Take it all away

yoz..leaving for Vietnam in a few hours time. Argh... its a kinda dreadful feeling having to leave home again... No christmas nor new year for me. *sobz*.. Hoping to spend some quality time with my family though. To everyone else... here's wishin' you all a MERRY X'MAS and a HAPPIE NEW YEAR!!!

To the top of the world and back

thank you to all the pple who have sent their bdae greetings...feels good to be remembered somehow...

During the short four days of my disappearance, I've been to the top of the world and back down... Finally after all that hype from my parents (who happen to my adventure junkies too!) and a little gentle persuasion from some of my fellow odac mates who happen to be considering the trip, I made a last min. decision to sign up for the trip.
I was all game for the climb till a few days before then I realise what i've got myself into.. Its the highest peak in south-east asia we're toking about here. And to sum it all up, I had a nasty ankle injury, no prior training to speak of thus no stamina to vouch for.. My goodness..I've got nothing to depend on at all... I began to wonder whether I had made a wrong choice..
Oh well, in the end it all paid off. The trip was good-natured fun despite for the minor crop ups that happened for example in the itinery which basically saw the movement of all the slack days to the front of the trip. Not too bad an idea if u were planning a slack trip just for leisure purposes. But.. we're scaling Mt K.! *slaps forehead*... all the good food, hot spring-ing.. Groanz. But nonetheless, the tree-top walk and the white-water rafting were fantastic..and not forgetting the people who went on the trip. Without fun people around, it would never equate to a fun trip... Serene, Peiqin, Hui Juan, Hui Fang, Grace, Zhen Han, Eugene, Munir and many many more...thanks a whole load guys!!!
view from outside my hostel window

Scaling up the mountain was a whole new experience altogether since I was never climatised to such heights, my lungs and heart had to work doublely hard to pump enough oxygen into my blood. Hence most of the time, light-headness and difficulty of breathing were my worst enemies. Every step up the never-ending flight was like squeezing the life out of my thigh muscles...at one point of time I thought they were gonna BURST! As we ascended higher up into the clouds and mist, the air naturally became thinner and breathing became a chore, my limbs felt like lead and I had to stop every now and then to rest my fatigued muscles.. But I pressed on with the guide right in front of me... took me 4hrs to Laban Rata Lodge at 11 000ft.. one hour ahead of the rest. My God..should I have known I wouldn't have pushed myself so hard!!!Thank goodness for my two fellow companions Hui Juan and Hui Fang who followed closely behind.. after which we allowed our photowhoring nemesis take control... GROOVY shots!!!

after a mere 2 hrs of sleep (which much difficulty), we embarked on the remaining journey up the mountain to the peak.. What was left of the route was steep granite cliffs and exposed flat terrain. All this put as at maximum exposure to the strong chilly winds and the icy cold temperatures which dipped to a low of 4 degrees near 3am in the morning. We climbed on, with only thought in mind; '' To reach the summit". Just that was enough to spur me on towards the summit. For me, it was a trip of agony, every step up the rocky granite slopes being a test of mental strength. My ankle failed on me as trudging up the inclined slopes required strength from the calves and ankles which I failed to possesed. Hence it was a horrifying experience for me. With the chillness of the morning air, the magnificant blanket of stars overhead, the darkness of the night sky and the constant encouragement of my frens, I pressed on towards the peak. Alas, in time to catch the sun rise and even had a little time to spare to catch a hot sip of milo courtesy of the trip IC Eugene. I was more than grateful as the frosty winds nipped at our skin, the deadly cold reached even till the insides and my hands were numb. Again, I've only got myself to blame for not bringing a pair of gloves along... Heh.

But soon the sun rose and like a great ball of fire, heated the land within the reach of its warm rays. I was awed by the spectacular views that greeted me all of which were a scene of black before the sun rose from its deep slumber.

Thank You God for making this wonderful world... and for opening my eyes to see your beautiful creations.

oh..did I mention that the climb down was worst than the climb up. My knees and ankles morphed into a pile of woobly jelly. gosh, time to recover and recuperate! Will be off to Vietnam tmr and be back by 1st Jan! Gosh.. I reallie need a breather... Kk, back to packing.
Okie after much discussions with Zhen Han Kor, I realised tt there a million and one places I wanna go before get old and immobile. To name a few, they would be Titiwangsa, New Zealand (to do extreme sports!!!), Europe, Mt Kilamanjaro and many many more!!! Gosh, reallie gotta start planning all my hols..optimise the use of all my holidays!!! only problem is the cash flow... Hmph..dun worrie..i'll work my magic.. Tee hee...

Here's a collage to summarise the whole trip. I'VE CONQUERED MOUNT KINABALU!!!

the birthday episode

Finally... join the ranks of the 20s...oh dun get me wrong..i'm not reallie too keen on tt. Older = more responsibility, assumed maturity of thoughts and actions, and higher accountability for your own actions. wat so great about that?!?! Given a choice, i would rather stay a kid FOREVER!... oh well, the only consolation is that everyone else is growing old with you. WAHAHA. as my brother said ytd, "its only when you grow older that you realise that your parents are ageing too." ... Gosh, thats so true...

Yesterday, (as put in Shengrong's words) was an affair of wholesome fun. Went out with the family and had dinner at our all time fav waraku jap restaurant. Hadn't had such a great time with them in such a long time. It was all smiles and laughters. Baby joined us for dinner as well..and i must say he was a wonderful addition to the family*woops*..haha. Oh yesh..I MUST tell you about the present i got from my family!!! Guess what I got?!?! the ROWENTA LISSIMA IONIC HAIRDRYER!!! HURRAY!!! the whole family was involved which made it even sweeter. Money from Dad, seeking of information done by mummy dear, and darling weiquan went down all the way to tangs to get it for me! and even got it gift wrapped.. gosh..I can't stop gushing! but i was seriously pleasantly surprised. Thanks guys... oh and not forgetting Kor, he wrote me a card..tt was sweet.. thank you for the valuable advice bro!
then after... mummy dear had a sudden craving for the apple tart from bakerzin. so...we scuttled over to the branch at bakerzin. Baby and I shared a ice-cream waffle which was delectable..crisp waffle lightly soaked in strawberry paste and a dallop of ice-cream over the top. Yums!!!

now..time for another miracle... midnight shopping at marina!! woah..went insane! gosh, think i have had too much to buy these two days. Purchased 1 dress, 4 tops and a pair of shoes in a matter of hours... My goodness.. its the sales i tell you. they corrupt you and lure you into doing these things! i'm innocent... *pout*.. but nvm, i was one happie shopper. hehe.

midnite striked..it was my bdae!!! the family serenaded happy birthday to me in the car on the way home. It was hilarious...haha. Thank God for my family... they certainly are the joy of my life.

Just when i thought tat the already magical night had come to an end, baby emerged at my doorstep with a card and what else? sunflowers!!! my fav! *muackz* love you loads baby...

je t'aime mes fleurs!!!

baby reading the instructions....

its mine!!!

to the ignorant few out there...

Today we come together to celebrate the birth of a beautiful child into this world. We give thanks to the Lord for breathing life into this child so that she might to live to see, to play and to walk through the treacherous yet beautiful paths of life, hand in hand with the Lord... *BLAH BLAH BLAH*..


note to the IGNORANT few out there:

Its the 16th December today and it is SIHAN's 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!

happie birthday to me..
happie birthday to me,
happie birthday to sihan,
happie birthday to me!


I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you're lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love that never came my way

Then you smiled and I reached out to you I could tell you were lonely too
One look and then it all began for you and me
The moment that we touched
I knew that there would be

Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight

Just to think what I might have missed
Looking back how did I exist
I dreamed, still I never thought I'd come this far
But miracles come true, I know 'cause here we are

Tonight I fell in love with you
And all the things I never knew
Seemed to come to me somehow
Baby, love is here and now there's

Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people In the world tonight

p.s. please stay tuned for more updates for the birthday...

rude awakening

Gosh..was trying to slp this morning and was rudely disturbed by one call after another. All of which i answered with a slp-head and almost idiotic voice... Gosh.. pardon me. First one being from mummy about tonight's dinner plans and something about a hair-dryer. Gollie, I was too blur to decipher her rattlings, so i just dismissed them and sorta agreed in contention to whatever she was saying, also with a dull consistent "ahuh".. HAHA.
Second call was from this Michelle gurl..oops or was it Serene (excusez moi..but i was slping!!!) ..yeh anyway she was calling from mos. Apparently it was regarding the birthday reservation tt i made for a table and drinks package for members for tonite. Guess I forgot about it. Woopsie..haha.Yeh..so point is tt I was kinda pissed becoz when i made the reservation, they told me tt they would send a staff to contact me soon. Tt was a week ago for god's sake..and still no news from them until the morning before!?! lyke HELLO!!!.. isn't it a tad too late? gosh..wat inefficiency...

Heck it all... soon i was in lala land again...*snooze*

Je suis TRES fatiguee...

Do you have any idea how painful it is to want to be with somebody and not be able to? To be physically close, sitting alongside each other, But the invisible barrier like an undestructable wall, stands in between.

I missed him even more then. Though he was right beside me; close enough to feel the gentle rising of his chest and his slow and steady breath, his soul was not present. Drifting away with the passing winds into any dimension. I had lost my grip on him, he was no longer with me, our hearts were no longer intertwined. I feel a sense of loss... and perhaps a tinge of guilt...

Made Butter cookies for Baby today. Hoped he liked it...was meant to make up for all the 'weird' behaviour from me this week. But doubt it worked... Bah..

Went out to have dinner avec mon petite ami in town. Then we headed to St James Power station for the launch party of powerhouse coz I had two special invities via sms. The place done up pretty nicely, a pity the crowd wan't too excited. Party spoilers...BOO!!! went around the building exploring..saw a handful of celebs... and we came to a conclusion that St James Power House is a BIG MESS!!! Hehe. Oh well, still a nice place to visit for novelty's sake.

curse the period

Today's dinner = comfort food. Managed to produce something from whatever that is left in the fridge. Seems that no one is too concerned about restocking the fridge since Auntie Nora is absent. HELLO!!! *waves hands frantically*.. I'm still here u knoe and I CAN COOK! bah... Does anyone even care about my existance? So wah la..in a matter of an hour..I managed to whip out this...

I named it by the way... haha

Anyway, it was a hit with my little bro. Funny becoz given that his love for vegetables is what you would call vacuous; and the fact that the dish was laden of the 'potent' stuff, cauliflower, carrots, tomatoes, garlic and what not. My mother was laughing in glee as she scooped bowl after bowl for my bro... *phew*... you have no idea how hard it is to get my brother to eat his veges, what more to take a liking for it. WAHAHA. Looks are deceptive... guess it must be the nice camouflage provided by the pretty blanket of melted parmesan cheese and juicy tender chicken cubes... *drooling*..hehe.

Yeh... got striked pretty bad today. The cramps..the aches, the sores springing up on every single known muscle on my body. Damm... curse the period, curse womanhood!!!!

btw, here's my favourite quote from casino royale.. if u guys ain't catch it yet..PLEASE go watch it! its tres tres bien!!!

"Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a,large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?"


Damm..he has all the pretty bitches huh...

Oh yesh...Here's a reallie belated bdae greeting going out to ollie!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hehe.. 8th dec rite? Sorrie..was a little caught up with work. *Bleah*..Hope you're having great fun in York.. remember to bring a pretty black guy home for me to see!!! HEHE

lalala...life is fair

Ma, can i sleep it all away?

Maybe i'll feel better tt way...


Feeling awfully domesticated today... Auntie Nora is back in Philipines for the xmas season. So its up to me to prepare the meals for the family. Woke up late, dragged byself out of bed...assessed the situation. Appeareared my brother didn't seem to concerned about his lunch. I cldn't let the poor guy starve so i went down to preparing lunchie for Kor under the constant reminder of Jiahui jie to make sure tt Kor ate his lunch. We both know that he is a VERY VERY LAZY fella, so someone's gotta do the dirty work.But it was rather simple. Just cooked some rice and then seasoned the meat to make our all time favourite steamed mince meat. Meanwhile while lunch was still cookin' away in the kitchen, the boiling water whistling away in the wok and steam gushing out from the sides, i recieved a call from the majesty...

Bah.wat majesty??? It was just mummy calling to make a special order for tonite...Shepherd's pie! coz she had a sudden crazing for beef...(tok about pregnant women...NONO..dun be mistaken..my mum ain't pregnant. Wld be a tad farnie at her age too..Hmph) Yeh..so I nonchanlently agreed to it since I had nothing better to do anyway..
So after on it was a short trip to cold storage to stock up on the missin' ingredients. That went pretty well and soon I was back home cookin' up a storm..and of coz..creating a mess out of the kitchen. (hey..but i do clean up after myself okie!!!)

Melvin joined us for dinner too...It was good. Glad tt my parents got along so well with him..wait.. i think i said it wrongly, rather..he got along so well with my parents. Woops... Haha. Yep. Dinner was pleasant despite the many comments from my little brother...But good or bad, it doesn't reallie get to me.. I'm my own worst critique...

Menu for the nite:

Mummy's fav: Shepherd's Pie

Dessert: Strawberry lemon pie (i learnt to make jam from scratch today!!! by trial and error coz i cldn't find the strawberry puree in the supermart. haha)

Sides: Steamed Mixed Vegetables

+ Red wine...

Anyway, its my birthday in a few days. *bleah*..still no plans yet. (Dazed look) Can't be bothered reallie. Its just another birthday. Only an occasion to 'celebrate' myself getting a year older... a year closer to my death, is that in any case a good cause for celebration.. NAH!!! dun think so... heh.

Just recieved invites to the launch of St James Power Station. Looks kinda exciting... quite intrigued by the structural design of the place. Shld look pretty awesome with its 5 storey high ceilings...Hmph. maybe i shld go check it out sometime.. Also got invites to the lauch of The Clinic..which has been the constant rave on class 95. situated at the cannery... the website is erm..how do describe it.. Weird and neurotic. Very strange indeed. Haha.

Orite..gotta go to bed now... apparently stubborn baby refuses to go to bed without me going to bed at the same time. *bleah*.. ORITE..COMING!!!. Au revoir.


I stare into the mirror,
to see a face staring back.
A face I want to see closer,
a face that I lack.

I apply the eyeliner smoothly,
and lip gloss like a river.
under this makeup I bury,
my feelings I never deliver.

And the face that smiles back at me,
is a face that is unknown.
For the girl I show everybody,
is a girl who's always alone.

RAT race photos..

Hey peeps..more photos from ytd... cld only upload it today as my camera went flat after my dearest Geok took it away to snap away at the participants *pout*..hehe..kidding. u did a great job wit the photos! Thank goodness i've still got my camera phone to rely on. Alright..enjoy the spread!

Chongmeng, our dearest SPO for ATC! he's da best in the job i tell you. Participants at the start line after I did my final debrief.

teams..running.. hey, or rather walking..*arghz*

at the swimming complex..heading off to their next checkpoint --chinese gardens

teams playing card games with the station masters at settlers cafe (holland v)
caution: gamblers at work
Main comm and helpers for RAT race... A million thanks to all of u for making the race possible!

climbing at toa payoh safra

want a taste of our EXOTIC cusine in the mystery bowls?

= fried grasshoppers (BIG ONES!!! ), dried toads, uncooked bittergourd with garlic and wasabi..GROSS!!!

Teams at the last checkpoint at esplanade

before making their final dash towards the finish line!!!

SMILE everybody! (happie participants at the finish line...)

too bad i'm too lazy to upload ALL the photos on.besides there are TOO MANY!!! haha. Yep. Also, didn't manage to capture some of the activities at some checkpoints like ford factor, xiao guilin, bedok reservoir and east coast park bowling alley. So you cld imagine how FUN the race was.... YIPEE!

kk..too round it all off on a sweet note..lets not forget the Babes in the spot line..WAH LA!!!

tts all folks!!!

Race against time!!!

the long wait is finally over.. *phew*... the long awaited RAT race finally commenced today!!! after all tt preparation, we could finally see the REAL event take place. at last i heave a sigh of relief. (tee hee..knowing tt i can start my true holiday after this event). But putting the sweet ending aside, I must admit it was more of a nerve wrecking experience than one tt we had anticipated to run smoothly without a glitch. First of all, we made a major error in the beginning of the race..which somehow dampened the spirits of the programmers including I. But somehow i felt tt the best we could do was to lessen the carried on effects by making sure that the same mistakes were not committed at the subsequent stations. That was the best we could do to remedy the situation.

So after the first station, I was sent to Bedok to unload the kayaks as well to settle the other logistics. Yet again another panic-ridden experience as we met with some other crop ups like a delay in the arrival of teams due to heavy rain..and even our lorry breaking down in the midst of transportation of kayaks. Sigh..the waits were long..and accusations and mistakes were rampant... But then again, I agree that the strength and organisation of a team is only truly revealed in the face of unexpected events. Its the ability to face up to these challenges and stand together that defines a good and capable team.
But despite the chaos churning in the heads of the many organisers, the reservoir retained its peaceful nature...

Following this, I went to my station in charge which was at toa payoh safra. Challenge was simple, 2 pple from each team to climb 2 seperate walls. the straight wall, if you are unable to scale to the top would result in your team incurring a time addition of 30mins and the other wall, if you are able to scale to the middle and touch the grip (above the overhang) would result in a time deduction of 20mins and further scaling it to the top will allow another 10mins deduction on top of that. EASY huh..wait till u see the wall!!! haha..kudos to all those participants tt managed to scale the wall. YOU'RE GOOD!!! heh. and many thanks to my wall crew from pumpfest for helping out with the setting up of the wall and the belaying of contestants. Munir, Kelvin, Aaron and Zhenhan..xie xie ni men. Had loads of fun goofing around wit u guys.

Though the whole race was mistake-laden mostly due to the miscommunication btw the logistics and the programmers side. I felt that the race was a mini- success..and the efforts from everybody was commendable considering the short amount of time we were given to pull this race together and the appearance of the exams right smack in the middle of all our preparation. As they say, what doesn't kill us is only gonna make us stronger. Lets have faith that all our mistakes we make now will serve to be our lessons learnt and tt we may not commit them once again in the REAL race..ATC! ~jiayou everybody

favourite pic of the day... Zhenhan and Smelly Ben-Ben

goodnite everybody...

the princess needs her beauty sleep (which she seriously lacks now..) *Yawnz*..

Busy as a bee...

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say,
but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away;
find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

been rather busy lately..trying to catch my breathe. Running ard..school, home..meetings, briefings..Gosh! RAT race..WAH! its tommorrow btw. After this..can take a breather for 3 weeks before work on the REAL thing, Adventure Trail Challenges commences. ~arghz

but apart from all the work..there's always time for fun!!! so it was off to dbl o last nite. Guess its true that Aero pple aren't much of club go-ers. They just aren't warmed up to the idea of getting yourself high on booze and shaking your booty on the dance floor. Its just illogical by their standards. Oh well, perhaps that's why i'm considered one of the stupider one in the course. Gosh, and now the truth comes clean...

So i was dancing with serene and pingting... and i realised tt I was infact surrounded by couples.. couples entangled in each other. Kissing, touching dancing..as though they were submerged in a world of their own, oblivious to the onlooking stares. I was jealous. Suddenly I felt so lonely. Guess it has been quite some time that I've gone clubbing with my gfs and not my bf. All of a sudden I missed him...
Woke up early this morning to the excited shrills of a hysterical girl over the phone. It was an overseas call from hongkong! Karen..haha..my gurl.. 2nd time in a row I am helping her to register her subjects. pss...you owe me big time..WAHAHA. But then again..I would do anything for this gurl. A very good friend of mine... gladly listen to her whinings everyday; about the numerous pimples popping out on her flawless skin and her cramps..Haha. Love ya Babez..enjoy yourself in Japan!

Karen...the bimb-bitch??? hehe

innocent lovin'

had a great day today. Its just one of those carefree days...when u are aware of how much more time you have in your hands.. knowing that the tempo can be slowed down. I just relish times like these when any form of planning is abolished, where we are aimless and wandering nomads in the hustle and bustle of the city. Knowing that you can just enjoy being in the moment... being with Baby tt is.

We went to watch casino royale today. Which was an absolutely FABULOUS show!!! i kid u not.. the action involved in the movie is very different as compared to the usual bond movies which focused more on the high-tech gadgets. In this movie, it show cases Bond as a cold-hearted killer, highly capable in terms of closed arm combat, speed and strength. His tolerance of pain is highly admirable in the movie as he 'gets his balls scratched' by the evil, sadistic bad guys. Overall, it was a good movie which had a high worth of entertainment value. A MUST-WATCH even for the masses who aren't die-hard james bond fans.. like me. tee hee.

Kk..enough of all the sweet talk already. Gotta cut loose all the angst inside of me... Was outraged today by 'somebody'. Gathering from my character, impulsive and rash, i get irritated easily. therefore approximately 1/2 a day from now, I won't hold and grudges anymore. So spare me for the vulgarities and the crude language that I maybe spouting in the next few lines...
so the scenario was me..pissed and angry and super super tired from the day's activities and the lack of sleep the previous night further contributing to my foul mood. I had rushed home and cut short the day's outing with baby to send an important document to the rest of the RAT commitee programmers and of course i wasn't feeling too good about it. WHY? becoz i wanted to spend more time with baby. DUH! kk... i'll cut to the chase. Point is..I was exhausted...and feeling kinda cranky... then mummy comes home late, asks a whole bunch of nosey questions which i dutifully attempted to answer, and turns around to step on my tail! RAWR!!! WTF!!! God..i was furious.. u have no idea.. sometimes i wish i cld stuff her mouth and stop the insensitive remarks from flowing...
the sentence that triggered it all:
She said: "Don't spend too much of Melvin's money lar"

WTF!!! i mean..Its not as if I dun have my own money to spend? DO i look lyke some sort of money-sucking machine to you... GOD NO!!! pls..i ain't some cheap, materialistic girlfriend that clings onto her boyfriend for branded goods and whatsoever okie? pls DO NOT EVER think tt of your daughter. I DO NOT beg melvin to buy me stuff.. he just does becoz he loves me. is that fine with you?!?!? GOD....

then she makes matters worst by standing outside my door and going on and on..squeaking about how i run to her only when i have problems and then treat her lyke shit when i don't need her. God....what did i do to deserve this..*whining*..

Save me from myself please...

jellies that i made at 1am the previous nite... was rather restless..hehe

kk..signing off..goodnite world..gotta catch some slp before all hell breaks loose tmr.. NiteZ~

my impatience... my downfall

another slpless nite...the guilt.. the discomfort in my soul. Its indescribable.... its intolerable..

My impatience, My tendancy to get irritated easily. My extreme mood swings that with the touch of a button may swing me from the highest of heavens to the pits of hell. My frustrations, My insensitive being. My rashness. My indecisivness. My insecurities... all these..my vices..my weakenesses..i'm ashamed by them, gripped by them. They pull me down, drag me around. My simple mind put at the mercy of these vicious creatures tt seem to assume a life of their own. growing to enormous sizes..towering over the goodwill tt liveth within. I wish i can break free... then I wldn't have to hurt so many pple in the midst...

Public apology to Melvin:

Baby..i'm so sorry for our recent squabbles. I knoe its just me...i'll blame it on myself.. Clearly i've been rather impatient and hot-headed recently. I can vouch tt this is not derieved from my frustrations from my dissatisfaction of u, coz u're simply the best i cld not ask for more. Rather, its just in my nature tt i be all of the above. I never meant to hurt you reallie..but its inevitable.. for tt i'm deeply apologetic. hunnie..pls forgive me alright? I still love you..and this silly gurl here is silently hoping tt u'll still love her...

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

the race...

Goodness, i'm aching ALL OVER... curse my laziness. Obviously preparation for the event would aid to lessen the agony of the race. But being the lazy person tt i am, i gallantly signed up for the standard chartered full marathon without realising the importance of proper training. Haha. Oh gosh, so now i've to pay the price of my insolence. *Groanz*... to think tt i was still contemplating whether to run the night before. Haha. Damm... it feels as if every single muscle in my body has experienced trauma. During the race, every muscle existant in my calves underwent severe cramps at different portions of the race, from the toes to the arch. Sometimes even simultaneously...gosh, I got so high from all the pain, was practically laughing and tearing at the same time..insanity! despite tt, i pressed on, cursing and swearing all the way. Haha. Thanks baby for seeing me through.

The only thing that was on our side was the weather which fortunately was cool and breezy. However grey skies overhead and the slight drizzle gave the event a sort of dreadul feel to it. Pass the 30km mark, looking around, the roads were quiet..with just the soft patter of footsteps from the competitors and the occasional shouts and cheers from onlookers. I was intrigued by the idea that below the peaceful surface, the thoughts and determination in these runners minds prevail. Their silent struggle against fatigue, pain...and their admirable mental strength to pull through. Though the runners run seperately, there was a secret bond amongst all. The common desire to reach the finishing line burned strongly in each of them. Indeed the mind can be a powerful tool..

some more pictures...

kok vui, sze fei and jonathan
the aerospace running junkies -- nerds in skool and sportsmen out of their books
jon, kok vui and zhenhan kor kor...proudly donning their finishers tee!
jon, jingwei and chuyi (wat a sweet darling to come support her bf.)

the end is finally here!!! + Vivo

after smelling the sweet air of freedom for about approximately all of 10hrs on friday, the reality of the amount of workload and preparation left to do for the upcoming R.A.T race came back to kiss my ass...God..haha.. but i will not complain..Nope...hehe..

Saturday...was a fantastic day.. Had soo much fun with baby. Firstly we went to ViVO!!! seriously, i don't see what the hype is about. Its a typical shopping mall reallie with a larger than life complex. But other than the huge crowds swarming around every nook and cranny of the building, having ALL the popular housebrands such as Forever21, Mango, Topshop and Gap under one roof which obviously makes shopping a very convenient experience and the fact that the enormous complex allows for much walking activities..i wld have to say tt ViVo is just another shopping mall..the same old BORING place.. but somehow these places just seem to draw the crowds. Guess its true that sporeans live to shop. The sad fact of life. Haha... However I have one important point tt really helped to set ViVo apart from the other malls... its huge glass panels featuring a stunning view of the jetty and sentosa. Definitely serving as a beautiful backdrop for fine dining purposes. That wld have to be their major selling point which evidently ViVo has already managed to work to their advantage.

Some snapshots of ViVoChildren's play haven...

little boi playing in the pool..awww..ain't he the cutest thing?


the ugliest, fugliest shoes tt ever existed..CROCS!!!

and guess wat?!?!

the evil me forced Baby to try on a pair...just for my entertainment. Tee Hee

Oh goodness..after all that trudging up and down the packed corridors, my feet got kinda tired..haha.. told u the place was GIGANTIC! haha..so me and baby left for a better place.


ice-cream galore!!! it was heaven on earth... haha. the daily scoop being located in the very secluded neighbourhood of clementi offered a fresh alternative to the many other popular and more commersialised ice-cream parlours present in our shopping complexes. They focused on using fresh ingredients to derieve new and queer flavours that u wldn't usually find elsewhere. Personally i would recommend the lychee martini (which packs a punch..so beware), the bailey's chocolate chip (this is really really good with a strong dash of baileys which so happens to one of my most favourite drinks! haha)..But then..we tried out the other flavours. Baby had hazelnut haven with waffle and I had ginger crumble with brownie. It was indeed a perfect pairing..the ginger crumble tasted authentically of fresh ginger meaning the 'la' flavor was there with every bite. Yums..a bit queer but it was really refreshing..

okie... some bad news. tomorrow's the standard chartered marathon. Reallie scared considering that I haven't been training up much for this event. And fact is... its gonna be 42.195km!!! NO JOKE man!!! So all I hope for is to cross the finishing line in one piece. THats all I ask for...